Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
当初复联打不过灭霸一定是因为没邀请柯南和安室透。 以下正经影评：前半段节奏不错有点惊喜，对比前几部好太多。警校五人组回忆部分看得挺开心，这情怀我吃了。后半段是熟悉的好莱坞大片，不过这凶手着实有点无力吐槽，她一个人能办那么多事呢？我一直以为是有个组织，结果到头来就一个人。。。
屌丝逆袭匡扶正义的故事，本来想给四星的，但部分情节确实过于潦草。有意思的小点子挺多，喜欢这种灵机一动式的诙谐幽默。对漫威的调侃特别高级，尤其男主和他的伙伴们那一组让人心领神会的山寨造型。话说剧组那一身战甲还真不是摆设，派了大用场了。
哇哦，好多年都没有遇到觉得好看的剧场版了。虽然还是动作电影，但这次真的好看。这么多年还是会被松田感动到。
离非常好，还有距离
近年最烂。强行拉流量（安室透）进局，各种离大谱，连柯南都智商下线只秀肌肉…23年最好是有点推理成分，不要把小哀也搞坏了…
哈哈哈有点当年大电影的样子。男主有点像《黑袍纠察队》里的深海。
戏中戏，假戏真做，恶搞，失忆。看的比较爽。
这种密集玩梗的反套路喜剧虽然恶俗但其实挺有效的
整体可圈可点给4星，最后的拯救涉谷太离谱了扣一星。
比起爬水管皮球堵炸弹我最想不通的是旁边的小姐姐竟然看哭了
有信念未必成英雄，但无信仰者必定不成英雄。
超越预期，剧情竟然没有脱线，推理达到了TV版的平均水准，好评 6/11 @ Cathay Cineplex Cineleisure
属实侮辱智商，涩谷没有下水道？直升机炸了俩人下来啥事没有继续打架，炸弹贴脸爆炸居然无伤，预告片里又是婚礼又是零，结果一开局婚礼是假的就没了，零开局下线后台坐着，小五郎开局下线医院睡觉，多少年没出正经东西了
哈哈哈哈看着恶搞英雄的法国片，简直是笑死了，节奏也好，笑点也秘籍，法国人真是幽默。
\松田阵平真的帅/\高佐持续上分/\沉睡的小五郎/可以说是近几年里最佳诶，崩掉的帧数也少了很多！说是涉谷大型宣传片也不为过了，还在感慨医院里贴着防止感染的海报但是涉谷十字路口密密麻麻站满了过万圣节的人看着还是有点危危危。下一部琴酒老师和雪莉能搭上戏吗，我先提前dream一个
哈哈哈哈，模仿復聯那段，太操了！！！
这次怎么不敢炸涉谷？！玩球呢！算了，看到五人组也就够了！不过这次我兰姐戏份太少了吧！
比起爬水管皮球堵炸弹我最想不通的是旁边的小姐姐竟然看哭了
国内低成本网大的水平。梗很多但是完全不知道好笑在哪里，各种屎尿屁的低级无厘头，非常无聊。曾经诞生路易·德·菲内斯的法国喜剧电影居然堕落到周星驰式的低级趣味实在是令人唏嘘
初次大荧幕的柯南，而且真的很久很久很久没看过柯南了。
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